Music and lyrics by Jonah Rank
Jonah Rank: Piano, vocals
Mixed and produced by Jonah Rank in January and February 2009.
Hey, somebody come, and eat me please!
I’d be down on my knees
If I only had knees,
But I don’t have knees.
And neither do kiwis or grapefruit.
And neither do grapes or chocolate.
And neither do carrots or cornflakes.
Neither do typical foods that vegans eat
Unless they’re genetically engineered
Or something really weird
Like that,
In which case the food might wear nametags
And a mustache and a hat,
But I’m a Pinapple.
I am a Pineapple.
And I am tropical.
And I am topical.
You know, I just can’t breathe so well.
Not even puffers do the trick.
And I can't do any damage to my lungs,
But I still refuse to smoke
Because it’s bad for the environment--
Because I’m not sure also that I’m not--
Not sure whether or not I'm capable
Of lighting a match or possessing thumbs that really are opposable.
I can’t say whether or not I feel too strongly either way
About whether or not smoking is okay
Cuz usually pineapples don’t even vote
Because they don’t even have a brain.
And part of the problem is that I don’t feel
Anything at all today.
And I can never feel anything
Because my senses are limited.
Cuz I’m a pineapple.
I am a pineapple.
And I am tropical.
And I am topical.
And I’m gonna be here
All week long.
But you might want to eat me soon--
Or else I might start rotting,
But I’m not going surfing.
(Here's to you, Allison Adges!)
(Ahoo!)
(Pineapples of London!)
Oh!
People often ask me, do I have superpowers;
And I say, "No, what do you think I mean,
I’m a pineapple; I have no cape,
And I have no secret identity,
And there aren’t even changing booths anymore.
And the last superhero movie that I saw
Made me want to quit my day-job
Because I'd formerly been a superhero.
And no one here is in clear and present danger
Not these days anyway.
At least not when they see that you're just a pineapple.
Nobody cares!
Nobody cares!
Won’t somebody eat me please?
I’m down on my metaphorical knees
Cuz I’m a pineapple.
I’m just a pineapple
Cuz I’m a pineapple."
Copyright protected by Jonah Rank: 2009.
