Music and lyrics by Jonah Rank (C) 2009
All instruments mixed, recorded and produced by Jonah Rank
I figured I’d record this song in the studio,
But there weren’t any drums.
How can I make a hip-hop hit or a pop song
Without any drums?
When I realized that my lack of a drumset
Wasn’t an uncommon situation,
I gave in and turned on the UltraBeat Drum Machine
Out of common desperation.
Then it seemed the only chords I could play
Were the tonic, sub-mediant, subdominant, and dominant.
Though that progression has been featured in other songs,
I figure it still has the right to be prominent.
After all, after all is said and done:
This music I’m making is hardly amazing; it’s just mildy fun.
I thank God for my Mac ‘n’ keys.
With a MIDI synthesizer, I appear just that much wiser.
I thank God for my Mac ‘n’ keys.
I don’t need to play the bass to play a bass in your face.
So, when I found out that my cowbell orchestra was running late;
I fired them, found a percussion patch, and attempted to replicate.
And then I thought:
Why did I need a cowbell orchestra in this song?
I’m not sure that it would work.
So, I turned it off.
I saw John Williams on the New York subway train,
So I hummed the theme from Jaws.
I tried to articulate to him my love for him
In an independent clause.
And then I asked Mr. Williams if I could borrow
The London Symphony Orchestra’s first-chair flautist.
But I couldn’t make out his response because, of all the sounds on the train,
The mariachi band was the loudest.
See, I could have found a musician, and our personalities might not have clicked.
But, I get by anti-socially relying on my digital tricks.
I thank God for my Mac ‘n’ keys.
Got my Apple and my keyboard; now there’s nothing left that I can afford.
I thank God for my Mac ‘n’ keys.
I broke up with my band because I don’t need a hand.
When I found out that my glockenspiel player died,
I sat in a corner and I nearly cried.
But I looked around and then I found
A sufficiently similar sound.
Do you like my glockenspiel?
I want to thank the pirates on the Internet
For giving me these Plug-ins for free.
Baby, you ain’t heard nothing original yet.
But at least the songs I program are superior to me.
I thank God for my Mac ‘n’ keys.
Can you hear me rock-n-rolling with my RAM and my Roland?
I thank God for my Mac ‘n’ keys.
I use my Kurzweil in mainstream style.
I wonder how long it’s going to be before we agree that musicians are extinct.
After all, it’s been a while since I’ve heard a hit song that was relatively distinct.
Maybe you can be my witness
As we slaughter the music business.
I thank God for my Mac ‘n’ keys.
Virtuosity is minimal when the musicians are all digital.
I thank God for my Mac ‘n’ keys.
I’m keeping people out of work with my Moog and my Korg.
I thank God for my Mac ‘n’ keys.
Place a sound on a plate and make it reverberate!
I thank God for my Mac ‘n’ keys.
I thank Gosh for my Macintosh.
I thank God for my Mac ‘n’ keys.
I thank Gosh for my Macintosh.
I thank God for my Mac ‘n’ keys.
